As to a therapy update – I seem to be moving to going every second week. I’m saying ‘seem’ because I’m letting the session stand and then cancelling. I am giving a fair amount of notice though. It’s a prime evening slot so I don’t want to reserve it if I’m not going to go.
So I didn’t go in last week, but will most likely go in this week. The increased distance seems mostly good to me. I did have some hours of missing Ron on Thursday evening, but other than that, I’m good with it. Every session takes me some days to recover from, pretty much no matter what we discuss. I feel like I have more of a weekend when I don’t need it to recover. I’m also glad not to be mentally criticizing Ron all the time. That was just exhausting and useless. Maybe the continual negativity about therapy was me trying to tell myself I needed a break. It’s been interesting to just go with that part of me and take more distance.
I am mentally taken up by work. I still don’t have much energy for doing much besides working and then taking care of myself by doing chores and resting. It’s kind of the worst thing about whatever it is that’s wrong with me – I just don’t have the energy other people have to put into their lives. All of my energy still goes to survival.
It looks like my contract with work will expire at the end of the month after all. The company I work for had said that the remaining writers would be kept on through the summer but it doesn’t seem to be happening. And a client who is running the project emailed something to that effect, forgetting that she was copying two writers including me. So I’ve started looking. At least, I’ve posted my resume to various sites.
I am so low energy this morning. Going for a nap.