In the kitchen

Black dots are in the air

I breathe, I choke

I ask the contractor to do something

He gives me a small plastic bottle, that yellow see-through kind with a white lid, with pills

I want to eat something but the black bits are choking me

Millions of moths

Moth corpses start piling up on the floor

I go to tell my mother – she’s in her room at the back of the house with a young child

I ask her to follow me – look, I say

You can see the insects in the air here too. Shimmering, they drip down sap

We stop in the hall to look at pretty pictures

My mother says

She’ll come later

She needs to go out

I try to persuade her it’s important about the moths, though maybe I’ve forgotten what is important, what is dangerous, why she must come

She leaves

She doesn’t come to the kitchen

  1. Ashana M said:

    That sounds like your mom. Oh, you’re hungry, you’re choking, but look at these pretty pictures–a really intense denial and a refusal to help you when you so needed her.

    • Ellen said:

      Yep. It’s definitely an aspect of her. I suspect this is about trying to tell her about some abuse when I was very small. Thanks

      • Ashana M said:

        I would imagine it was about something that made you feel smothered and like you were choking.

    • Ellen said:

      That is interesting – thanks AG

  2. Yes, this dream is about trying to get her to recognize something that is happening to you. It has the same feel to it as a dream I had years ago but remember clearly. I was at my grandparents’ house (a place I felt loved and safe). I opened the doors to the space under the sink, and there were all sorts of colorful tropical fish, floating around in the air as though it were an aquarium. See! I said. Come and see this. It PROVES what I said. And when my family came, and I opened the doors again, there was nothing there. It’s all about getting them to see.

    • Ellen said:

      That dream does seem very similar. Not having things seen. Thanks Q

  3. Hugs. Powerful but I don’t like that you were denied what you needed. She walked away when she should have walked in the kitchen and help you get rid of the bugs.

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