Job

I’m turning over in my mind whether to quit this job or not. Today was really awful. The thing that stops me is that sometimes I feel I can hack it for a few months at least. But days like today, I feel I have to get out pronto.

If there was more than one main aspect that was good, it would help. The main one for me is having something that would last, security. Plus, it’s not overheated. Which seems ridiculous as a plus, but my last contract, I kept sweating through my clothes, which was a nuisance. Oh, plus, I’m not sitting right by a main throughfare, so I don’t get traffic looking at me for entertainment.

The bad. Where to start. Oh my God.

First, this is not a writing job. It’s not even an editing job. It’s a finicky job involving submitting the correct requested documents to regulators in the correct format. A lot of checking spreadsheets for titles, adjusting filenames, downloading things and placing into other files. How they could advertise this as a writing job is beyond me.

Two. The boss has issues. Self-esteem, dramatizing, emotional decisions, playing favorites, losing patience if someone doesn’t immediately understand. She has made an issue of almost everything. Like today, I reminded her I need two days off to get medical tests done. It’s cancer follow-up for goodness sake. You’d think I’d asked for I don’t know what. Those are vacation days for me. Or I would take them unpaid. But the fuss she made was unbelievable.

Three. People there, who are not bosses, do not speak. My only teammate seems completely co-dependent on this boss, who gives approval and then criticism and then disinterest. Right now she seems to be disapproving of me, and praising this co-worker. It’s so dysfunctional. So we don’t have much bonding going on – this young person is head down focused on her spreadsheets wanting to please this boss.

And generally, as I’ve said before, no one speaks much there.

Then I have very little to do. Today basically I was asked to learn a chief spreadsheet they have there, looking things up on another system based on what was in the spreadsheet. For eight hours. It is just not possible to do something this tedious for eight hours.

I feel like i’m getting the cold shoulder. It’s a boring story – there was a kind of a crisis, and the day it broke, I didn’t stay very late. I’d talked to my co-worker, asking if I should stay or not. She said not. I was thinking it was already after five, and she’d have to start explaining things to me, so why not start in the morning. She also wanted to talk to the boss about things first. So I left.

The next day, it emerged (the boss didn’t tell me, but I asked my co-worker), that I was not going to be involved in fixing this crisis after all. So since then, I’ve had little to do, while my co-worker and boss are working frantically to fix this situation.

Whatever. What can I do.

The situation reminds me a lot of being ostracized by my family though. No one saying anything, and being totally left in the cold.

Which is why I want to quit immediately. That and the excruciating boredom.

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6 comments
  1. leb105 said:

    at what price, security?

  2. Rachel said:

    This job sounds dreadful. Soul-diminishing. Sorry Ellen, I wanted it to be so much more for you.

    • Ellen said:

      Thanks Rachel. I was hoping for better also.

  3. e.Nice said:

    I am sorry you’ve had to endure this… I’ve read ahead so I know its better now, but oh its just awful to live through.

    • Ellen said:

      Yeah, it was awful. Still is some days, but there are better days also. Thanks

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