Disappointment

Well, this job has gone from a firm offer for a good job at a good rate, to an offer for a very average job at a rate where I’ll be making quite a bit less than I currently do. I’m disappointed today.

I hadn’t heard any more from HR for three days, which seemed unusual. I was very anxious actually, torn between wondering if something had gone wrong, to telling myself that I don’t need to be anxious, this is just my mind spinning. As usual, the truth was a mixture of things. Something had gone wrong, though it doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with me. Between making me an offer and figuring out a fair compensation, the director decided to downgrade the offered job a level. Going with that, the compensation offered is somewhat less, and there will be no benefits to speak of until and if I’m taken on full-time.

The HR person said this had nothing to do with me personally – if I refuse the offer, they will post it at this lower level. I wonder. I think if I’d gone in to see the director and been in better shape, been self-confident, they would not have done this. It’s hard to know for sure of course.

I’ll be making 25% less money than I do now. However, the ‘now’ is the best case scenario – that I remain healthy, and don’t have breaks between contracts. The upside is that there is potential, I suppose.

More than the money, I worry that the job will be too boring and low-level. I remember the tedium of having a low-level corporate job. So, I have the day to think about whether I want to accept this new offer. Sigh. The money isn’t the main thing, but to me, it’s an indicator of the interest the job will have for me.

In other news. I think I’ve come down with Ebola or something. I’m still sick. I have a crushing fatigue and need to lie down all the time. I’m basically resting a lot, even though resting means giving in to various bad feelings that are pressing in on me. I haven’t been this sick in a few years.

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18 comments
  1. e.Nice said:

    darn. I’m sorry. I’m glad it wasn’t about you, but a boring job, for less pay, and no benefits to cushion the other two is no good. Is it something that you can try for a little while and if not a good fit start looking elsewhere? Ebola is not so good. Are you going to get checked out? It is way harder to deal with mental stuff when physical stuff is hurting too.

    • Ellen said:

      Yes, it’s contract to perm, which means after six months, it either goes full time with benefits or either I or the employer terminate. Once it’s full-time, it would be more in line with what I was looking for. The upside is there is potential.

      Yes, Ebola is not good. 🙂 Understatement. I actually don’t have Ebola, but I like to dramatize. What i have seems viral, and when I’ve gone to the doctor in the past, she’s said to rest. So I haven’t gone. I thought of going for acupuncture or to my naturopath though. I’ll see. Thanks Nice.

  2. leb105 said:

    disappointing, sure – too good to be true, maybe! I’m hoping you say no thanks, and see if that helps your crushing depression. These offers came up so fast, you have the luxury of looking for a good fit, don’t you?

    • Ellen said:

      Yeah. But I’m bouncing back once again. I wrote this soon after I found this out. I’ve found out they took some tasks away from this role to ‘give me a chance to learn the subject’. It may not be boring. I’ve got the weekend to consider my options. Thanks Laura.

  3. thats really disappointing. I’m sorry they downgraded the job. It really sucks that they did that. I’m sick too right now, its an awful feeling and triggers us to no end. I hope you start to feel better soon. X

    • Ellen said:

      Thanks Many. I hope we both feel better very soon. Being sick does make things look a bit bleak.

  4. Rachel said:

    I feel disappointed too. So sorry Ellen, disappointment is a tough feeling to sit with. It doesn’t feel good at all. Sending support and thinking of you, and hoping your body heals quickly. Hope therapy went OK this week.

    • Ellen said:

      Thank you Rachel. I already feel quite a bit better. I feel I did stay with the feeling though so that was positive. I haven’t decided what to do yet. Therapy tomorrow actually. Cheers

      • Rachel said:

        Ah, gotcha. Well I hope therapy went OK today then. And that we both have a bit better weekends than last weekend.

  5. I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better soon.

  6. Double bummer. Bummer on the downgrade of the job and bummer on being sick. I know I had a bout of illness that was one of the worst I ever had this year. I hope you feel better soon.

    • Ellen said:

      Yes. I’m sorry you were sick too. I haven’t been this sick for a few years – this is hanging on so long. Thanks Ruth

  7. I’m sorry. This is really disappointing. I would be disappointed, too. It’s a tough choice— I do think the potential for the job to turn into what you want is a good thing. I hope you feel better. Being sick is no good.

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