Well, this job has gone from a firm offer for a good job at a good rate, to an offer for a very average job at a rate where I’ll be making quite a bit less than I currently do. I’m disappointed today.
I hadn’t heard any more from HR for three days, which seemed unusual. I was very anxious actually, torn between wondering if something had gone wrong, to telling myself that I don’t need to be anxious, this is just my mind spinning. As usual, the truth was a mixture of things. Something had gone wrong, though it doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with me. Between making me an offer and figuring out a fair compensation, the director decided to downgrade the offered job a level. Going with that, the compensation offered is somewhat less, and there will be no benefits to speak of until and if I’m taken on full-time.
The HR person said this had nothing to do with me personally – if I refuse the offer, they will post it at this lower level. I wonder. I think if I’d gone in to see the director and been in better shape, been self-confident, they would not have done this. It’s hard to know for sure of course.
I’ll be making 25% less money than I do now. However, the ‘now’ is the best case scenario – that I remain healthy, and don’t have breaks between contracts. The upside is that there is potential, I suppose.
More than the money, I worry that the job will be too boring and low-level. I remember the tedium of having a low-level corporate job. So, I have the day to think about whether I want to accept this new offer. Sigh. The money isn’t the main thing, but to me, it’s an indicator of the interest the job will have for me.
In other news. I think I’ve come down with Ebola or something. I’m still sick. I have a crushing fatigue and need to lie down all the time. I’m basically resting a lot, even though resting means giving in to various bad feelings that are pressing in on me. I haven’t been this sick in a few years.