Well, I started a new job and I went back to therapy. It’s been a full week.
It amazes me how different the cultures are in different areas of the same financial institution. I think it’s more about the department than the actual brand of the institution actually. So I’ve landed in a math / analysis culture. About half the people working there are from other countries. I’d say three-quarters of the workers are men. Maybe more. And no one seems to talk to each other, except about their work. They do seem very intent on their work – they find it absorbing. The fellow next to me talks to no one socially all day, doesn’t get up for coffee or breaks, though I think he does take lunch. He stays late every day. I think I’m adding exponentially to his social life by saying good morning and goodbye to him, lol.
It’s interesting to be working where people are so interested in their work. They get excited about solving some analysis type problems they’re having. Anyway, that’s what it looks like to me, looking in as a newcomer.
My own work is not exciting so far. I’m mainly reading over reports which I really can’t understand. But – I have hopes I’ll have more to do here than at the last place. I’ve already told the manager that I need lots of projects and I like to keep busy. We’ll see.
I went off to therapy Thursday, after dinner. I was so tired. I’m so wound up after work, I can’t sleep properly, and new situations make me pretty tired anyway. Therapy turned out to be great. I was happy to see Ron, so happy. We mostly just had a regular conversation, but i didn’t have to worry about switching, so I just let B talk at times, because it was just easier. And I let her draw. And I didn’t have a therapy hangover. The session calmed me down somehow, and at work today I felt a lot calmer. I felt so nurtured somehow – Ron seems so supportive and kind. I feel as if he really likes to talk to me. It’s odd – he must be the same person as when I wasn’t feeling this. I think the drawing in session really helps me. It lets the kid be there and get attention and care, somehow, and that feels really good.
Well, if therapy is actually going to help me feel better, maybe it would be good to go twice a week. It’ll be harder now though, because I don’t have a laptop at work, and there will be no working from home, so I’ll have to schedule for after work, and those spots are precious.
I’ll write tomorrow about the session.