Things are better. Thanks for all the support on my last post. I realize now it was kind of a dark one.
This is the middle of the night so I’ll keep it brief perhaps.
I might or might not have a new contract. The agency keeps calling me with updates, which is kind of hilarious. I’ve never had a contract go this way. So apparently I was on the short list of two. Then the other woman on it, one person didn’t like, so she got knocked out of the running. Then the manager put the ad out again, calling for more people to interview. But, I was still their preferred candidate, of those they’d seen. Then Thursday, the agency calls to inform me that the manager has approved me for hiring, but it’s waiting for VP approval, and can I start right away. Sure. So I’m thinking, I’ll get a call by end of week. Nope. So what’s actually going on is anyone’s guess. So far, I do not have an offer.
So that was interesting. Reassuring, that I’ll have work. But strange how they are going about this. Lots of uncertainty.
Therapy on Friday. First of all, I felt like I’d only just climbed out of the hole I fell into after last week’s session. I tell Ron about how awful I’ve been feeling. Is going into trauma like this really going to help? He sits back, says that in his experience, with expression of deep feelings, things change. However, at the same time, he sees that you do want to see your life change for the better, also, at some point. My life is not changing for the better, in part because I need to spend huge amounts of time recovering from these memories, and dealing with parts. Overall, I do not want to do the same thing as last week, and go into overwhelming feelings. At the same time, I don’t want to waste my session with complete avoidance.
And….I’m getting sleepy. So tomorrow, I’ll write more about therapy for this week. Hope all are sleeping well tonight.