Aargh, I am missing my T. I’m not missing the difficult stuff – getting into various flavours of pain and dysfunction. Since that’s what happens in therapy, if I was rational, I’d be feeling relief that I have a break. I miss the person. I miss someone caring about me for fifty minutes. I miss a sense of connection.
It’s feeling like a really long break. It’s actually a week, but last week’s session was Monday, and this week’s is Friday, so it seems like two. And as well, I started feeling lonely almost immediately after the last session. I could reach out by email. I did once, last weekend. But emails are supposed to be when I’m really distressed. I’m not at the end of my rope here, I just feel lost and lonely.
It’s minus thirty with wind chill outside. I was contemplating a group that runs Wednesdays, but I think it’s just too darn cold out there. I bravely ventured forth twice today already, and still feel a tingling on exposed parts of my face. Those temperatures are wicked.
I’ve been reading a book on Jung. I find I’m more interested in some of his concepts than others. I’m interested in the concepts of projection and the shadow. I’m less interested in his theory of archetypes, and quite irritated by the anima animus theory. I know i have to take that in the context of the time it was written, and try to edit out the sexist assumptions, but just the thought makes me tired.
I’m napping too much. But on the other hand, I’m sleeping more normally again, only waking once per night.
Last night, I woke from a nightmare of a murdered child. Not sure if it was my child, or a part of me that was murdered. I woke with heart pounding, and could not feel safe for a long time after.
A homeless man froze to death last night in a bush shelter right in the centre of the city. He was wearing only a t-shirt and pants. This news has really distressed me. I know there are tragedies around the world, but this one is right here, caused by stupidity or apathy. Many people must have seen this man. Why did no one call?
Odds and sods.