A post from my phone. At work with nothing to do.
I’ve got a nice new shirt on too. But have talked to no one.
Voting day here.
My thoughts are very short when it takes so long to write them out.
I’m thinking it’s my fault there’s no work, but I realize it’s just the way the project is going.
I’m struggling with a friendship at the moment. I have changed. My view of people is different. After all the conversations with Ron, I’m looking for real connection. This friend is wanting surface type chats which are cheerful. We are irritating each other. I feel unheard and judged after maybe with her. She maybe thinks I’m a basket case.
Also, on other levels, we other. have much in common.
But I need friends. I’ve been shedding friends. I need to be acquiring them.
Ok. Now to post.

  1. Gel said:

    It’s good to want real connection. It’s good to want friendships. Sometimes wanting what we don’t have is painful. But the good thing is that you FEEL a natural desire for a healthy thing.

    Maybe the surface chatting that the friend seems to want is a nice compliment that they want to connect. Maybe you could just initiate something a little deeper around one of your shared interests….not a suggestion or a should….just the thought that goes through my mind upon reading your post.


    • Ellen said:

      Hi Gel. Yes, it’s good to want that I suppose. I never knew really what real connection was, before therapy. I’d just never formulated it to myself. So I was comfortable with people who had more of my parents’ style – very active, but not terribly caring, unfortunately.

      I like how you are pointing out the positive in all this. šŸ™‚

      The friend and I are really not getting along. It’s upset me more than usual. She says things to me that make it seem she looks down on me, so I hate that, obviously. And we actually have little in common, as in shared interests – my post got garbled by my inability to use my phone that well. She does not have much tolerance for difficulties, or for people that are ‘different’ – and that bothers me more and more.

      Thanks for commenting.

      • Gel said:

        It occurred to me that my pointing out the positive might be annoying to you and I hope not. Sometimes when I’ve expressed my pain or disappointment about something and a listener just points out positives it has been really disappointing. It might feeling they aren’t hearing or understanding the pain, or like they are trying to get me to feel differently. But that isn’t what I meant to do here with you.

        I was meaning that it is natural to have the pain when you get in touch with a deep need that isn’t being met. And that is a part of being a real human. I have a strong wish for you to find a few wonderful friends who accept you for who you are and see what a wonderful person you are. People who want to listen to the real you. People who are fun and trustworthy.

        The friend you are describing doesn’t sound like a close cherished friend.


        • Ellen said:

          No, you were not annoying at all. In this case, your comments did appeal to me and I understood them the way you are explaining. Thanks for the kind words.

  2. Cat said:

    What I’m beginning to realise is that the therapy process does start to change the way we think and behave

    • Ellen said:

      It does, doesn’t it. Painful, but after all, that’s why we go. Cheers

  3. Ashana M said:

    I think, unfortunately, the shedding sometimes happens first.

    You’re my friend, if you want to be. You can cross the blog wall if you feel like it.

    • Ellen said:

      The shedding is really happening with several people, and it worries me. But it’s positive I have more of an idea of what caring people might be like. Not perfect, but with a caring side.

      I’m honored to be your friend Ashana, thank you. šŸ™‚

      • Ashana M said:

        WordPress gives you my email. Free free to use it.

  4. Jay said:

    It’s a good sign that you are seeking more intimacy and authenticity in your relationships šŸ™‚ Quite often, therapy shakes up the status quo in our lives and people that we thought we were close to seem threatened or displeased with the stronger and more authentic version of ourselves. All I could offer is that it is your life and that you should trust your gut instinct.

    • Ellen said:

      Yes, I appreciate that it seems like a good sign, thank you. Therapy is changing how I relate to people, for sure. Take care.

  5. I hope you can work things out with your friend. Feeling unheard is hard. Perhaps you two could talk it out? I always find open dialogue and communication is a good way to go. Be honest. Iā€™m sure she doesnt think your a basketcase. And you arent. Xoxo

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