A few good things

darkredWow, was that ever a negative post. Here are some good things that I’d forgotten.

1. Today I got a polish change – from grey to a dark red. What a relief to have well groomed toes once again!

1.1. Got a nice chair massage at the nail place while waiting for them to dry.

2. I didn’t think anyone would say goodbye at work. They did. The department all filed in at my last meeting with a card, gift card, and timbits. Different people thanked me and talked about some projects we’d worked on together. I was touched.

3. Also at work, my boss and another co-worker took me out for a surprise lunch. It was surprisingly comfortable. I like my boss a lot better when we’re chatting and not trying to work together. It seems like he didn’t dislike me after all. Or at least, his feelings change rapidly. They both tried to talk me out of buying a house (they work in mortgages) as they think we’re on top of the market. Whatever. I don’t say this, but I don’t think I have the energy to look for a house, whatever the market, even though I could afford one.

4. I like my interview suit. The blazer has a bit of funkiness – you roll up the sleeves to show a grey silky lining. Plus I bought new shoes for work, so if I ever get an interview with a real live hiring manager, I’ll be able to dress the part.

5. The stew turned out great. Yum. I created it ad hoc, without a recipe. I like the seasoning – tried a tablespoon of ketchup, one of soy sauce, and some hot pepper. Plus red wine. Plus, I had a cauliflower going bad, added it, and it blended in well. (I cut off the bad parts.) Success.

6. I’ll see Ron Monday. He may be back in the city already, though I have no way of knowing. It’s an unusual therapy day to cut the length of the break from three weeks to two and a bit. I like that he thought of that for me. He didn’t do that last year – are we getting along better this year? With no group stirring up drama, I think maybe we are. I think my attachment to him is positive – it’s like being grounded, instead of floating around in space.

In general, the way work ended was very positive. I’d been feeling no one liked me, and it wasn’t really true. True I didn’t form any friendships, but they liked me OK. The big boss wrote a note in my card that she’d call me back if they undertake another big project. My boss promised to say lots of positive things for a reference check. So it’s good. I see things too too blackly.

One more positive – I’m reading a book about emotions that I think will help me. It’s about balancing different aspects of yourself, and letting emotions flow –  not letting them get stuck, not repressing, and not exploding either. How to ‘surf the wave’ of the emotions as it were. I could use some thoughts on how to do that.

Image: Red World

  1. That’s cool that they took you to lunch and gave you cards. Pleasant ending and nice to know the reference will be good. That makes a difference. I hope you find what you are looking for in a job.

    • Ellen said:

      Yeah, it was really nice. With most contracts, no one takes much notice that you are leaving, so this was heartening. Thanks Ruth.

  2. leb105 said:

    I love these back to back posts! They’re like two different worlds, two sides of the coin – one where the future is threatening, and the other where the present is gratifying! All on the same day.. And you can choose to live in either one, just by focusing your mind. Wonderful! I’m going to read them again.

    • Ellen said:

      Glad you enjoyed Laura. I’m not sure we get to choose thought, exactly. They’re both there and need to be acknowledged. For me, I think I need to bring the two sides together more to make up a complete picture. Thanks for your thoughts.

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