I keep starting a post about my session but I can’t do it. It’s still too close to me I guess. If propelled by anger, I can write it all down. Otherwise, no. But it was a good session.
Ron didn’t argue at all. He didn’t think bad things about me in group either. Apparently I displayed openness and directness in telling the group how I was feeling. I had a whole scenario where he was immensely critical of me, but it wasn’t true.
He could even see how I’d feel E’s feedback wasn’t necessarily validating.
I’m very surprised. The theory is my father was very critical when I was a child, so now I turn that criticism against myself….and maybe project it onto Ron.
Also about parts – I had his opinion wrong. He thinks I should talk about them. He was pretty funny when I told him what I’d heard him say, shaking his head and saying no, no no no no….lol.
He thinks at times I don’t think I can change because I’m in parts. But he thinks I actually have some influence on them and that I can increase that.
Could be. Putting it this way makes some sense and I don’t find it threatening.
I feel trust has been restored and I am relieved. I know it’s odd I lose trust completely, then get it back completely. Something about the way I work. It’s not optimal at all, but it’s me.
I am grateful for the rain – nice and restful.