God I feel terrible. And today is a bright day, first sun in many days. I went for my walk, but I guess I walked too far and got dissociated. Or something. I feel as if everything is hollow and full of tears.
I have to clean up because ex-hub, son and friend are coming over. Ex h cooked, so all I am responsible for is a salad.
I really need to do the dishes, vacuum, clean bathroom. That’s it. Make salad. I can do it if I can move through whatever the heck this is. It’s like being under a bad spell cast by an evil wizard.
I fell into a light sleep after the walk that was too long. Which plunged me into this depression I guess.
It doesn’t seem fair – I’m trying to get fit, so of course, I get to be plunged into despair. Or not despair – a kind of sorrowful lethargy. Despair implies thinking, and I can’t think. My limbs are just heavy, my eyes want to close, and everything seems very dark.
Things are not so bad. But if I could just move through this. It’s like green goo is all over my body. That would be disgusting so if that were the case, I could see why I’d be upset.
I write to Ron about it. I don’t feel much better yet, but maybe in a while I will. He likely won’t read my email until late tonight or tomorrow anyway.
Well, if you are out there in blog land, maybe send me a healing thought wave that I can climb out of this hole and get it together.