I seem to be allergic to dairy, all of a sudden. I’ve cut out all milk products and am having a lot less nausea. Even lactose free milk isn’t good for me. Sigh. I depend on dairy quite a bit and am not sure what to eat now. I don’t want to eat meat all the time.

Also chocolate. I had quite the chocolate habit. Today, to test this, I tried two squares of mint chocolate (yum) and feel worse again.

And coffee. I still have to test coffee without dairy though, so I’m holding out some hope.

I still have something wrong, but it’s a lot less severe than it was.

I am so used to taking my physical health for granted. Now things are going wrong, and it’s a shock.

I gave up wheat a few years ago, which really helped ease some physical symptoms of depression I had (like fatigue and fog brain). So what the heck is left for me to eat?? I’m not always an energetic cook either, not given to whipping up macrobiotic feasts every day, though I will cook sometimes.

Emotionally I’m lethargic and fatigued at the moment. Getting to the end of the day at work yesterday was extremely tough. By the time I got home, I just lay in a kind of a stupor for over an hour.

I’m still assimilating my therapy experience with the part coming out and crying about missing her family. It was almost like a time traveler – a child waking up, forty years have passed, but she doesn’t know that, and can’t understand how everything has changed.

Everything is difficult, daily life is hard. I’m lonely today, but don’t think I have the energy to go out. Just living day to day, not really touching anyone at all.

Today I am grateful for being able to work from home many days. Without that, trying to survive the 9-5, the world becomes unimaginably difficult for me. With it, I can recover from bad days and try again.

  1. Bourbon said:

    Are you able to get an allergy test so you can be sure of what you are allergic to? A bit strange that all of a sudden it appears to be cows milk but our bodies never make sense to me! xx

    • Ellen said:

      It is strange. Something else seems to be wrong with me, so allergy isn’t the right word probably. I’m all of a sudden sensitive to a lot of foods I wasn’t sensitive to before. I have a test coming next week, then I’ll probably go back to my doctor as well. Thank you Bourbon. xoxo

  2. That’s a beautiful picture Ellen, it looks very peaceful. I like your closing about being grateful for being able to work from home occasionally. Some days the hope of tomorrow can get us through some tough times- I wish you a peaceful evening and a brighter tomorrow. Hope you find something to eat that agrees with you.

    • Ellen said:

      Thanks Christy. Glad you like the photo. I’ve been meaning to add a gratefulness section to my posts, and I like it also. take care

  3. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well 😦 and I agree with Bourbon, maybe it’s not a bad idea to get an allergy test. As for the milk, have you tried soy or rice milk? I don’t like the soy one, but I find the rice one delicious. I hope you feel better tomorow and you give yourself a chance to relax! xx

    • Ellen said:

      I will try the rice milk, thank you chatte. I have tried almond milk and it’s OK. Thanks for the comment!

  4. weareonebyruth said:

    I took my body for granted until it started to really act up. Allergies can be so frustrating. Hopefully you can find the right combination of what to avoid and what to eat so that you feel better. My daughter challenged me to stop eating food that has red 40. I was amazed at how many things I ate used it. I feel a lot better it was weird because I was never aware of it bothering me before. Sometimes socializing takes so much energy. Hoping that your food detective work makes you feel more comfortable.

    • Ellen said:

      I actually eat fairly healthily, because that helps keep depression in check. So I’m not eating processed foods to begin with. It is really good to find out what foods make us feel our best. I hope the detective work works also. Thank you ruth

  5. good comment, that you are being a food detective. don’t forget to explore whether it is a fat content thing, or a milk thing (one problem might be masking the other). also, my friend felix has been vegan for years, and is quite the busy musician, so has loads of quick and handy recipes he can share with you. not saying you have to be vegan, you can def. add a little meat, but they are no-milk, no-cheese, no-egg recipes. i also have lots of quick and seasonal recipes on my new food blog. quick and tasty things to do with winter squash!! this week we’re doing lots of thanksgiving recipes, ‘cos it’s coming up for my US readers, but we’ll be back to seasonal cooking next week. c.

    • Ellen said:

      Yes, I really don’t know what the problem is at the moment, as I’m not cured just by avoiding dairy. I will have to explore vegan living I suppose, though I’ll keep eggs. Where is your new food blog? I do like squash…

      Thanks. xoxo

  6. David said:

    Have you sorted out the chocolate and coffee preferences? Its a bit more $ (£) but have you tried black espresso coffee and 100% cocoa dark chocolate? They’re a bit more bitter in taste but bitter can be invigorating.
    Mmmm … double short black pure unadulterated caffeine with a bit of dark choc on the side. 😉
    Hope things keep improving.

    • Ellen said:

      I like espresso, but always took it with cream and sugar, so we’ll see. I love the effect of espresso – a gentle lift as opposed to the jolt of coffee. 100% chocolate is too bitter for me! I have my preferences sorted for sure – I prefer about 65% dark, preferably Lindt with mint. And coffee and chocolate was a favorite combo of mine too. Sigh. Whine.

      Nice to meet you David and thanks for the comment.

  7. said:

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I want to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and on no account seem to get one thing done.

    • Ellen said:

      Thanks for the compliment HMSN. Good luck with your article.

  8. ks41 said:

    Hello Tesseract.
    I too suffer with a milk allergy; have done most of my life, I have had to change the way that I eat, the recipes I use. If you visit my pages you will find those recipes there; they are savory & sweet ones. I hope you feel better soon.

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