I had felt pretty good. Which is unusual, because usually bad stuff comes up in therapy. But at the same time, the suicidal voice was there again also. I found that disturbing – I’m feeling fine, better than usual, but there’s a suicidal voice.

So Ron asked me to talk from that voice.

It was really hard. It does stop being a voice when I talk from it, so that’s good. It’s so hard to talk from that voice. But I do a bit of it. I don’t cry, but feel swirling feelings around me.

Now at home I feel so small and alone.

Was it a teenage voice? I thought so. Black dark thoughts. But the part talking was younger. Scared, confused, alone, in the dark.

Ron said we would get some light if we keep coming back to it.

I didn’t know whether to believe him.

  1. Take care of yourself… It is such hard work…

  2. Ruth said:

    May I suggest he is helping you towards a healthy place. I couldn’t remember my past and felt terrified to remember. Shining a light on those dark areas allowed me to see that the bad stuff becomes less bad in the light. Kind of like everything looks better in the morning. Hugs to you. Hope your week end is peaceful.

    • Ellen said:

      Thank you for the hopeful suggestion. Hugs

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