I hate the group. I quit. I’m not going back.
This time I do send the email, and we duly discuss it in my session, pulled up on Ron’s iPhone.
This night is chiefly another’s story, but I end up so disturbed I want to quit.
My frenemy E starts right in, and speaks steadily for a long time. I’ve decided to try and listen as much as possible, because I took centre stage last time. It’s difficult, as I’ve been feeling horrible. I’m sitting there feeling like I’m choking, and also thinking about death. So it’s difficult.
E has difficulties with her mother, and I give some feedback. Then she talks about how she’s lost motivation for coming to the group. Ron duly probes, and clearly, they’ve discussed all this already in her session.
E brings up some problems she’s had with R and with yours truly, and how she’s since felt disconnected. One of the problems she’s had is my leaving the group sometimes, when I get overwhelmed. Plus she doesn’t like when I interrupt either.
I feel really down when she talks about this. I’m trying so hard, sitting there, trying not to fragment or interrupt or leave. I turn a stone I’ve brought over and over in my hands.