What is shame like. Well, I tell ya, not pleasant at all. A sinking in the pit of my stomach. Feeling in my throat that’s thick and choking. Fear going up my spine. An overall feeling of danger, or not being able to rest anywhere. A needing to hide. A needing to be very small and very very still. A feeling of total uneasiness, that something is very wrong, but not knowing what or how to make it OK again. My legs kind of ready to run. A deep chasm opens up and beckons.
Thoughts wise – i have done something terrible and wrong. Everyone can see the badness of it, so must hide away. Wanting forgiveness, but not knowing what it is that needs to be forgiven. A feeling of being completely unacceptable. Perhaps deformed. Perhaps horribly ugly. Wanting to cry, but not able to.
Delayed reaction to crush confession. Feeling very very small and crushed.