Smash

I am drawing with my crayons. I write in pink, and blue, and flesh colour  …I am sad. Then …because he is mad at me.

I lie down.  

I feel a flat knife across my middle, at my belly button. I am in a large house. There’s a modern galley kitchen, with a peep window. I’m sitting on the other side, by the window, on a tall stool. My father is there. He is maybe angry, seems to be bending over me. 


Then I come crashing through the wall of the house on the second floor. Bricks fall in a heap. People are walking around – they are surprised to see me there.

This was the waking dream I had this afternoon. First I’d felt huge amounts of fear, before the dream, but when I actually followed the images in my dream, I was not afraid. I was trying to allow them to speak. I don’t know what they are saying to me. Now I feel really really tired. The knife part is the most uncomfortable part. The rest is hazy and dream-like.

This didn’t actually happen. The house is completely unfamiliar. The only thing I recognize is we did have bar stools in the house in Suburbville, down in the rec room.

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5 comments
  1. Your dream scared me, I can only imagine how it affected you.Please take care

  2. Hi Ellen, this actually looks like a good healing dream to me. I study my own dreams a lot….Anyway, there are a few themes here that seem to be typically Jungian. If they don't have any resonance for you then it's probably because I'm wrong.Houses that you find yourself in tend to represent your whole psyche – the totality of who you are. Strangers in the house tend to represent aspects of your unconscious. Yourself in a dream tends to represent your ego. So overall it seems to be a dream about integration – all the different parts of yourself starting to get together and working together. This might be a dream that would be good to discuss with Ron and unpack further. Do items in the house or people have particular resonance for you?The stuff with your father and the knife could be lots of things and it;s something you could explore with Ron. I certainly don't wish to guess.Dreams on there own may not mean much but if you get similar dreams over several days you can look for and understand the themes.Last night I had a dream about being in a prison somewhere. In the dream was a blind woman who was also a prisoner. She had a room of her own which was unlocked. I felt it important to get to know this woman a little better and spent some time tentatively doing that.I've left out a lot of details. This is maybe the second or third night that I've had a dream like this and with the details in it was closer to a nightmare.However, the prison could also represent my psyche in a way that I feel trapped. The various other prisoners can represent unconscious aspects of myself and the strongest symbol is this blind woman who (with other details) seems to represent my anima with emphasis on the wounded or disabled or need-for-nurturing aspects of it. I woke this morning with a reinforced feeling of needing to take better care of myself, to acknowledge some wounds and to self-nurture. I took a day off unpaid today to let things work through. When dreams recur over several days I take a hint.

  3. Ellen said:

    @ NWNMG – Sorry to scare anyone. I was actually scared before the dream, but the dream itself was kind of covered in mist, and not that scary to me. thanks for commenting – didn't suppose anyone would.@ Mike – Excellent to hear from you. Your Jungian interpretation is very encouraging. The dream might be a healing dream, and what you say about aspects of myself makes a lot of sense also, especially as that is part of what I'm exploring in therapy. The knife element is recurring, everything else is unique though.Your dream is interesting. I like that you took the day off in response – you're really listening to your own psyche. Food for thought for me.

  4. Hi Ellen,Yeah at long last it feels like sometimes it's OK to take care of me. In taking a time-out it means things have calmed down again and I can concentrate on work instead of trying to block one to focus on the other – which isn't helpful in the long term.The unconscious is a bit like a kid – it cannot talk with words so uses images. If one image doesn't get through to you one night then the next night the same thing might be attempted with different images but the same underlying theme.So for me last night's big dream had the same themes and emotions carried forward to the previous night but a different set of imagery so this time there was a jungle and all sorts of other things but the emotional landscape and messages were very similar. So the Father in your dream might be your real one, or the aspect of yourself that has internalised him or a representation of authority that must be obeyed or something else.The knife might be lots of things. Is it any old knife? Is it a kitchen knife, a bowie knife, a pen knife, a knife from your own past or your own kitchen? Knifes can be creative things or destructive things. For cooking, for attacking, for defending. Lots of possible things. What does the knife mean to you?OBTW dont' bother with dream dictionaries. All the symbolism in a dream will tend to arise out of your personal history with some things that are jungian and everyone in every culture seems to dream about them as part of being human.

  5. Ellen said:

    Hi Mike, Glad you can balance the different parts of your life like that. I do find that a challenge. The unconscious as a kid – that's an interesting description.The knife is the painful and frightening part of this. I struggle with that image an awful lot. Ron has said he thinks it might be an image of splitting or dissociation. I'm not sure myself. I'm going to keep paying attention to dreams also. thanks for the insights

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