How can I get unattached, once attached? This is what I wish to know. I’m now feeling attached to my therapist Ron. I’m not enjoying the experience. How did he do that? Just by being kind and interested? Or what?
It’s not a fair experience. He is not attached to me. It’s a one sided attachment. It’s completely unequal. And any power resides with him who is not attached.
These last two ladies whom I saw, if briefly, for therapy, didn’t do that. Or I didn’t do that. I didn’t think about what they thought from one session to the other. If they cared or not, what their theories might be, if they even knew I was alive between sessions – all this I blissfully didn’t care about one tiny bit. And I’ve seen Ron for a much shorter time than I did them.
I was unattached. Quitting therapy was not a difficult decision, once it seemed to me they weren’t helping me. I was basically relieved not to have to go back to them once I quit. If I were to quit therapy with Ron, it would be a huge decision and I would feel a lot of loss.
Perhaps I only attach to men. I do have a few women friends, but friendship doesn’t have the intensity I’m talking about.
The feeling is not the same as a crush. I think with a crush, there would need to be some element of hopefulness that a relationship could develop. It’s more a need for a person….a fear they will leave…a feeling that what they think is crucial. Even that for me to feel safe, this person must approve of me.
This leaves the attachee (moi) in such a vulnerable place. I do not like this feeling. It’s like not being in charge of my own destiny somehow. Ron goes away for two weeks and I hate it. When really, I only met him in January. Two months basically. We’ve met about six times I think. Not at all a long acquaintance.