Reasons I like Ron:
1. He is quiet and thoughtful. He never chit chats. Anything he says he’s thought about carefully.
2. He does not look corporate. I like the rumpled and unpretentious look he often has.
3. He doesn’t seem to think he is better than me. He doesn’t give off an air of knowledge, power and privilege.
4. He’s smart. He doesn’t say stupid things or roll around in cliches.
5. He seems quietly sympathetic.
6. He’s not afraid of painful topics. A bunch of therapists are. He wades in there.
7. He’s got a pale and interesting air about him. He did mention he writes songs, when I asked him a question at one point. And he made a joke about it. He seems arty without taking himself too seriously.
8. I can imagine that he cares about his clients, and about me. I have no way of knowing, but I get that feeling.
9. He never talks about himself unless I ask him a question. I appreciate that as I’m paying for his time, I’m not expected to make him comfortable or entertain him. He’s the only therapist I’ve seen who does not talk about themselves.
10. He laughs when I make a joke. Hey, it’s a bonus.
I know that in therapy, when the client feels positively about the therapist, it’s sometimes called a positive transference. We idealize the person so we see them as the helper we need them to be. That’s OK. I do need to believe that someone whom I like is on my side. I’m fine with it being a mechanism, or whatever it is. I feel like I do need a counter-weight to the darkness I’m trying to deal with.