Today I bought a new dress. It’s printed silk, with subdued purple/white/green colours and an empire waist, which is supposed to be in style right now. I kind of bought it by accident, as I was passing through a designer boutique in a department store on my way to another department.
It is lucky to have it, as I have an interview tomorrow and my regular outfit is at the dry cleaners. I can wash this one – no need to dry clean. And it’s more summery than my other one. Plus I love the feel of silk. And it is a perfect length – just to my knees. Oh, what the heck. It’s worth the expense!
Clothes for me have always been an issue. When I was a child, my mother dressed us in hand me downs, so I always looked different from the other children, as the clothes would be five years out of date. I was teased, for that and other reasons, so I mostly withdrew socially.
When I got older, I never had much money, and never felt right about spending on myself. As a consequence, I never had things to wear for social occasions, and looked as if I didn’t respect myself in old cheap clothes.
I’ve been trying to change that. Buying clothes, and even getting dressed in the mornings, still causes me a lot of anxiety. When shopping, I tend to get in and out of stores as fast as possible, buying anything that might do so I don’t walk around naked.
But today, I took some time. I let the saleslady advise me as to what looked good. I bought a decent dress, not on sale, just something I needed that I liked. I think it was a good buy.