I’ve been sick for the past week. Not deathly ill, but I seem to have some kind of a flu. It started with stomache pain and nausea, which I thought was from the therapy session I went to last week. However, then it progressed to aching legs and fatigue, so I guess it’s a flu. No fever though.
Just this evening I feel bits of cheerfulness returning. Tiny glimmers really. I find illness kind of saps the life force and even the tiniest task becomes a huge mountain to climb. For instance, I need to vaccuum my living room, so I put the vaccuum there, ready to use, and cannot make myself plug it in! It’s a ten minute chore, but I hate the noise it makes, so I avoid it. And thinking of vaccuuming, I start feeling more nausea, so it always seems better to lie back down instead. Silly. I am not deathly ill, just under the weather.
So I am surviving on brown rice with milk, applesauce and toast with honey. It’s amazing how much time is saved when you don’t need to cook or eat much.
I have talked to no one since the weekend, except a man from my social anxiety group whom I know slightly, who called today. We chatted for five minutes, and I told him I’d spoken to no one for days. I could call people, but I don’t feel like it. My natural shyness becomes overwhelming when I’m sick – it becomes really difficult to call anyone. I feel marooned on an island somehow. Even commenting on blogs is difficult at the moment.
On the weekend, I did finally make it to a film on the last day of the film festival. It was a cinema verite film from Chile. The action, such as it was, followed the doings of each member of a very poor family during one day. Wow, some lives are extremely hard. I can’t say I enjoyed it much, but it was a good and worthwhile film. Part of the trouble was I was taking gravol, coming down with this flu, so that added a drugged sleepiness to a very slow film. I’m glad I saw it in any case. Some films are not entertaining, but are worthwhile.