Feeling low now for the second day. I overdid things lately and now have a ton of body memories (bad memories basically) and fatigue. I’m getting very little done. A load of laundry. A walk to the park. A blog post.
Thursday after the group I had a short discussion with the facilitator on therapy options, and I mentioned that if I had the money, I’d go for all kinds of treatments – shiatsu, acupuncture. She mentioned that she sometimes goes to student clinics.
When I left the building, I took a little walk and walked right past a Shiatsu school offering a student clinic. In I went, and found that Shiatsu clinic was not being offered, but did I want acupuncture. So I signed up.
Ouf. So that evening I went for acupuncture for the excellent price of $20. And the student was extremely nice and very earnest and thorough. I told her my problem was stiff neck, with secondary problem of ‘anxiety’.
So she commented that she thought I lacked energy, then some mumbo jumbo about my liver being in conflict with my spleen…Whatever, I think.
She put in a bunch of needles, and all was fine. But ever since, I’ve been in this state where I’m all emotional plus with the body memories.
The needles definitely affect me. I just have no idea if this is ultimately healing or just re-traumatizing. I did try and tell the student that my system is sensitive and I don’t need a lot of needles, but she thought I meant I was afraid of the pricking, so assured me she would use the lowest gauge. Sigh. If I go to someone more experienced, they are able to modify the treatment to be less aggressive.
Luckily I’m between contracts, because this is a disaster if I’m trying to keep it together and work. So I did a body scan meditation, then I just went and lay down doing nothing. I’m drinking lots of tea. I can’t focus on reading my novel – no great loss, it’s just a mystery, but still, I’d like to read it.
Tonight I am going to a group dinner and a singles dance, God help me. I’ve promised other people I would go, so no chickening out. Must pull self together.