I had a pretty good weekend with a good mix of social activities and alone time. Saturday I went to a restaurant dinner with some of my SA group members. One of the fellows there hadn’t been in a restaurant in five years – what an excellent achievement to come out. He seemed perfectly fine to me and was actually the most social person there.
I did get anxious on and off throughout the dinner but it was fine. When I’m with others who have anxiety, I figure I’m doing well enough. Great to meet a new person and chat with some I didn’t know that well.
One of the youngish men who came was really cute and athletic and I thought – how can you have any problems. He also holds down a managerial job. But he is one of the more severely affected by SA – he has quite a bit of trouble talking socially. I’m always kind of honored when he talks to me actually as I know it’s difficult for him.
Sunday I met a woman for coffee that called me up out of the blue. We’d met a few months previously. She is Peruvian and looks Asian and will soon be a Canadian citizen. We just hung out for an hour or so – I’d love to have another female friend. I’m not sure we have a lot in common but we share a sense of humour and an appreciation of Iranian men, it turns out! Who would have thought? Both our exes are Iranian.
Then Sunday evening I went out to an art movie from Norway called O’Horton. This one is definitely art, so if you’re not up for art, don’t see it. I liked it in the end. It’s about a train engineer who retires and faces a bleak world but slowly starts looking for meaning. At first it was too bleak for me, but after about 45 minutes I warmed up to it.
It was kind of a Buddhist movie I thought. Horton is facing a bleak lonely life, but he doesn’t distract himself from this in any way. I would have been flipping through the TV, reading the paper, going out for coffee, reading mystery novels in an effort to fill time. Some might head for the doctor’s office for some Prozac. Horton doesn’t do any of this – he mostly calmly smokes his pipe. It’s as if he allows himself to have his experience of depression and slowly he encounters various characters, works through some emotional blocks and fashions a more connected way of life for himself.
The movie also had a kind of slightly absurd sense of humour, nice camera work and great style. I’d recommend it, but if you need a distraction after a hard day, this is not that movie.
So this weekend was sociable enough and interesting but also it didn’t scare me or stress me out. Altogether a success.