www.thelmaharrisartgallery.com/…/abiola/works/ painting by Abiola
Life is a sorrowful struggle at the moment. I don’t have the concentration to put in the hours of work I need to to make a living. I’m kind of flailing around trying to find something to help me. The supplements are OK, but right now, they’re not enough.
I went to talk to a doctor this week. Why are doctors so focused on medication? I don’t do well on anti-depressants – so help me find something else! Surely after all these years of medical science and studying depression, there is something else on offer. Isn’t there?
To be fair, the doc did offer to discuss my problem in the future. I’m to note down what specifically stops me from working. So I’ve started noting what goes through my mind when I stop working. I stop and start for a while, then I give up. I have to call the doc for another appointment if I wish to discuss. But I know his preference is deeply in prescribing to correct a chemical imbalance. He tells me about a new AD – he is meeting the drug rep to find out more about it. Hurray! I don’t comment however – I want this guy to help me, not to antagonize him.
I’ve tried shaking now. It’s from a self-help book, Unstuck by James Gordon. You put on some lively music and shake all the parts of your body for 5 minutes. Then breathe for three mins. Then dance for another five. Then relax.
It does feel kind of interesting, and I did have more energy after shaking. I look like a lunatic doing it – but that may be better than actually being a lunatic.