I’ve got over my rage, and of course now an contrite about the nasty tone of those emails. I’ve apologized by email a few times now. I have to keep making it clear though that I don’t want him back, with other girlfriend in tow! Honestly, men never lose hope do they?
So now it’s feeling the pain of loss. Which isn’t as bad as it’s been on breakups one and two. Also, I’ve discovered a bit of a secret weapon – nutrition and supplements for mood. I’ve been reading Mood Cure by Julia Ross and following her prescription. At the start is a mood questionnaire, where you determine which of four ‘false mood’ states you fall into. Depending on what you find, you take certain amino acid supplements to ‘fix your brain’. You also eat a very high-protein diet and a ton of salad and veggies. It’s making a big difference to my mood. I tended to have no energy at all in the first part of the day, and can now cope much better.
Though me and Julia will agree to disagree about the importance of a nice cup of coffee in the morning, especially one made with fresh-ground beans. And I’m a European, so sorry, I will be having some wine with my meals. But otherwise, I’m following her advice pretty closely with good results. These aminos are like drugs it seems. Excellent.
Also, I was wondering if now my mood is better, I’d feel better about Mr. Wrong. Not really. I’m still furious with the way he treated me. Just the pain of his absence is now muted by all this good brain chemistry I’m feeling.
Just remember, future self, how humiliating that relationship was. Yes, attraction is nice. Self respect is better.