Instead of struggling with this relationship, I’m now struggling with work. I am consulting, working from home, and I’m not working enough. Enough for my goals I mean – I can live on what I make as it is I suppose. I’d like to put in eight hours. Last week I was averaging four, this week it’s a bit better.
I get so bored. And I want to sleep, so I fall into bed and lie there. I don’t want to do this but I can’t stop myself.
OK, it may be depression rather than complete boredom. Whatever it is, it’s preventing me from living my life as I wish to. I feel as if I’m caught in an invisible spider web that stops me from breathing and makes me feel exhausted.
And it is a bitterly cold February day.
Looking for a picture for this post reminded me that spider webs can be beautiful. Maybe something creative can come from all this lethargy?