So an update amid an international health emergency. Wow. My life has changed in a bunch of ways aside from this crisis, plus, well, there’s the crisis.
I did get one of the contracts I was interviewing for as I described in my last post. There was a two week wait, and I started 2nd week of March. Four days later, most employees including me moved to working from home.
I’m very lucky in the timing. A week later, and I wouldn’t have been able to start. And if I hadn’t gotten work at that point, I’d be unlikely to get anything now when businesses are battened down for the storm.
I am very very relieved to have work, at least for a while. At first, I worried they’d quickly lay me off again, but that hasn’t happened. I spoke with my manager about this, and he said my project is vital to help more employees work from home. So. Quite the coincidence. I confess I’m not doing much, as the manager is in emergency mode, trying to outfit a large company to work completely offsite. He’d have to give me work but he doesn’t have time to think about it. Luckily I’m at home, on the clock, so as long as I’m available to work, I can bill.
I also acquired a new health diagnosis two weeks ago, with unfortunate timing. I went for some tests end of January, and one of them just came back positive. I now have a type of lung disease, similar to tuberculosis, but not infectious. Not a great thing to have with a plague which attacks the lungs on the loose. So I have been self-isolating more than most. I don’t go to grocery stores or anywhere except for walks.
At first I panicked quite a bit, sure I was going to die. However, I’ve now calmed down. None of us knows what is in the future. It’s a scary time for all, and a whole lot of other people are also at extra risk.
Because of the crisis, I likely won’t be able to see a lung specialist for months. At first, I wanted to start treatment right away, but on a virtual visit with my family doctor, he advised I should wait. They don’t always treat this because the treatment is quite severe and fairly often is ineffective.
Well. I’m not very sick now, and this illness is slow to develop, so I’m likely fine.
So a lot for me to get used to – new job, all new people, new diagnosis, and mega international health crisis. I’m slowly getting used to it all.
I’ve had some contact with friends and also groups online through zoom. My church has been helpful with online services and then small online groups after. I’ve attended an online singing group. And getting used to seeing my face on camera while I talk to others…it takes getting used to. In some ways, online meetings are easier than physical meetings – no big decision on whether to attend or no for instance. Attending is just a click away.
My therapy is interrupted for a week. My choice basically. Then we will meet online later this week. I’m in a good place with therapy at the moment and this doesn’t cause me stress. When I was in the midst of being desperately attached to Ron, or rather when child parts were, it would have been agonizing to skip a week of therapy and I would have worried about it intensely. But although I quite like Martine, it’s more in the way I might like a teacher of a class I enjoy, or maybe a friend I enjoy spending time with, rather than that desperate clinging attachment of a small child to it’s parent.
It’s hard for me to think of much else but covid all the time, but I know my mental health depends on the effort to do this. I’ve heard some advice on great books to tackle now that we all have all this time available, but for me, I think I need very light reads. I literally fall asleep every time I try to tackle a more meaty book. And comedy shows, or at least very straightforward types of entertainment. Just to try and relax from all the stress and uncertainty.
I’m still carrying on with writing out fears and resentments once a day, followed by walking meditation, which I do twice a day, and I think it’s steadying me. I’m trying to remember grounding stuff as well and that’s helpful.
I am feeling fairly positive about all the Canadian government restrictions aimed at having people keep to the social distancing. I think we’re about a week ahead of the States in our measures, even though it would have been better to do all this even a week sooner. But I want to see us take the crisis seriously. I believe that we can, at the least, slow this down so the healthcare system can cope.
All blog readers, be safe and be well. We’ve got this, as I saw written in chalk on a sidewalk on one of my walks. We are strong, we are inventive, we will come through this.